Forced Fun

I once did an exercise for a leadership coach where he asked me to write out a vivid description of my ideal life in the future. It was one of those visionary-things which is supposed to force you to come to grips with your enormous potential for achieving super-sized goals in life. I obediently wrote it all down, and upon reading it he simply said, "It all sounds very nice, but where's the fun in this?" "Fun?" I was thinking. "You didn't say anything about fun! My future is serious business, man!"

He caught me. Apparently, I was taking my career far too seriously. I had to go back and rewrite it with a greater emphasis on having fun in life. "How would you define fun?" I asked him before he left. I wanted to make sure that I got it right. This was not a good sign. For some reason I tend to downplay the lighter side of life, spending far too much time thinking about all of my responsibilities, my work, and the infinite number of chores and errands that must get done.

Whenever I try to relax and take it easy, there's always that abusive little voice in my head telling me what a slacker I am. "You can't leave work already! It's only been 10 hours today!" "Don't even think about taking a nap! Do you honestly think Jack Welsh ever took a nap? Now there was a real leader!" "Put down that book! You could be working on your next blog post!" I'm not at all sure where this comes from. Perhaps it's just the wet towel-snap of the good old Protestant work ethic. Or possibly it came from that ill-tempered swim coach I had when I was ten years old: "I have a cramp, coach! Can I take a breather for a few minutes? Pl- ea-hea-hease?" "Get back in the water and swim it off, you panty-waist! And give me another 500 yards, right now! I better see your scrawny butt in here again tomorrow morning at 6 am for double workout sessions, or else you'll never make it to the Regionals!"

Or perhaps it could have been the 5-cent an hour slave wage that my father paid my siblings and I as children to help him with some peripheral office work. I was bound and determined to earn that five dollars to buy a new Three Dog Night album at Woolworths. I didn't care how long it took! Weekends, evenings, before school, after school, I was going to earn it fair and square. Or, maybe it's a backlash of guilt from actually slacking off and avoiding all labor whatsover from the time I was 15 until I was 23.

In any case, I was sitting down with my wife the other day looking at the summer calendar. We were making sure we had all the obligations taken care of: the kids' summer retreats and getaways; my older daughter's college orientation; two surgeries scheduled; a couple of church events planned; and, of course, our sacred one-week family vacation. But as I was looking at the entire summer unfolding before me in a scattering of scribbles over three calendar pages, I stopped short and said, "Where's the fun in this? It's summer, for goodness sakes!" It dawned on me, the sad truth: that unless I take some initiative to plan for some fun activities, the whole summer will go by in a flash. Then I'll find myself sitting there one day in the Autumn chill wondering where it all went. So why not engineer my way to a more enjoyable summer? All I need to do is simply apply that same vigorous work ethic to the prospect of having more fun! I'll show those staunch Protestants.

I cracked open a clipboard and immediately went to work, polling each family member to ask what they would most like to do for fun this summer. Here is our list so far: An outdoor rock concert. I reluctantly did this a couple of years ago with my daughter, when I gave her a ride to see REM and Modest Mouse in concert. Although I felt completely out of place in a massive crowd of youthful urban hipsters, I eventually got into the scene and couldn't believe how much fun I had been missing. Since then, it's been a family tradition each summer. Last year it was Coldplay, then Feist. This year it will be Keane and Ingrid Michaelson.

Whitewater Rafting. There's a great place that offers guided rafting only a couple hours from where we live. We did this years ago, and had a blast. This is one of the requests that came from the girls. Hiking Day-Trip. There are some trails not too far from here that I have yet to explore. I usually would wait until the Fall when I make a six-hour trip to the Adirondacks. But now's a good a time as any. My girls requested this one, too.

Dinner dates with friends. How hard can that be, to plan a nice dinner out with some friends? Unfortunately, we don't do this nearly enough. An invitation, a couple emails back and forth, and we're on. Sunday Brunch in New York City, followed by a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Sometimes it's worth it to skip church. Norma's at Le Parker Meridien is the best brunch in the city. Plus, there's absouluely no traffic on Sunday mornings driving into New York.

A Broadway show. It's been a couple years since we've hit the Great White Way, and every time we've gone was a spectacular experience. Better get my tickets now! Any suggestions? A day at the beach. Around here they just call it "the shore," which means the New Jersey Shore. It's only two hours away from where we live, outside of Philadelphia. Really, this should not be such a stretch to spend a couple Saturdays on the beach. There it is in writing: my ideal life. At least for the rest of the summer, anyway. I'm already beginning to have fun, just thinking about it. Are you allowing yourself to have enough fun this summer?