Abuse

There has been a dramatic increase in the public’s awareness of and concern about various forms of abuse, primarily family abuse. Most of this is physical and sexual assault as well as psychological and emotional abuse against women and children. According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation one out of every two American women is beaten during her marriage; 28 percent are battered at least once a year. A woman is battered every fifteen seconds. Battering is the single greatest cause of injury to women in the U.S., more than accidents, rapes and muggings combined. Over 70 percent of men who batter their wives also physically or sexually assault their children. The vast majority of women who are beaten, raped or murdered are assaulted by someone with whom they are intimate. By contrast, men who are beaten or murdered are assaulted by total strangers. The FBI estimates that less than 10 percent of domestic violence is reported to authorities.

Understanding Abuse

Abuse is a buzzword today. One way of overcoming this is to view abuse on a continuum. At one end of the continuum we place brutal, systematic exploitation and oppression. Here power abuse is often premeditated, and the perpetrator knows full well that the abuse hurts others. At the opposite end of the continuum we place relatively mild and sporadic social manipulation. Here the abuser does not intend harm but blindly pursues personal desires and hurts others in the process. Many such abusers are curiously naive about the damage they do to others. This naiveté is usually a factor when abuse occurs in the church.

Abuse of any type occurs when someone has power over another and uses that power to hurt. Physical abuse means that someone exercises physical power over another and causes physical wounds. Sexual abuse means that someone exercises sexual power over another and causes sexual wounds. Spiritual abuse means that someone in a position of spiritual authority uses that position to inflict spiritual wounds. And so, social, political and psychological abuse occurs when those in power use that power to cause unjust suffering to those around them.

The Silent Epidemic

The American Medical Association refers to physical and sexual abuse against women and children as the “silent epidemic” of the 1990s. The AMA tells physicians to be on the lookout for symptoms of abuse and then to go beyond just treating those symptoms. Once doctors see evidence of abuse they are urged to report it to authorities. If necessary, doctors are to assist in pressing charges against the perpetrators of the abuse. This new activism on the part of physicians is one indication of society’s alarm over abuse.

Is there a real increase of abuse today, or are we just reporting it and talking about it more? The answer to both questions is yes. There is a documented increase of child abuse in the home and sexual abuse in and outside the home. For instance, twenty-year-old women are reporting nearly twice the instances of sexual assault against them as their mothers had experienced at the same age.

Also, abuse has become a less taboo topic. For years Americans maintained a virtual silence on the issues of child abuse and sexual violence against women in the home. The church was most reticent of all to discuss these concerns, but now they are out in the open. The Roman Catholic Church, for example, is dealing openly with child sexual abuse by its priests. Some leaders estimate that by the year 2000, the Catholic Church will have paid out over one billion dollars in settlements to victims of clergy sexual abuse.

Spiritual abuse happens when a leader with spiritual authority uses that authority to coerce, control or exploit a follower, thus causing spiritual wounds. Unlike physical abuse, which often results in bruised bodies, spiritual abuse leaves scars on the psyche and soul. Counselors report that those wounded by spiritual abuse share many symptoms seen in victims of childhood sexual abuse, including deep fearfulness, depression, anxiety and an inability to trust. They are often too ashamed to talk openly about it. Some who do talk about their experiences are called “divisive” or “troublemakers” or are told that they are the problem.

Spiritual abuse is as widespread today as it was at the time Jesus spoke the words which contain the Bible’s clearest teaching on the subject. Jesus points out that abusive spiritual leaders demand authority for themselves, based on title and office (Matthew 23:6-7), whereas healthy leaders rely on their demonstrated servanthood to exercise influence. Abusive leaders oppress and manipulate people by heaping on people loads of legalism, guilt and shame (Matthew 23:4), while nonabusive leaders lift those burdens off, directing their followers to Jesus Christ for rest and for “yokes” that are light and fit well (Matthew 11:28-30).

Spiritual abuse occurs on a continuum from minor and sporadic to heavy-handed and systematic. Some abusers are easy to identify by their obviously immoral behavior. Others are much more subtle, but equally damaging. They may officially embrace an orthodox theology and present a polished, respectable public image. But in reality they practice “another gospel” which undermines adult reasoning and personal relationship with God in favor of unbalanced submission to an authoritarian church leadership. Such people subtly coerce their congregations through skillful use of language of intimacy and trust. When these types of leaders pretend to be a friend representing the heart of God and use this illusion to dehumanize and manipulate people, they inflict deep spiritual wounds.

Exploring the Reasons

Many factors contribute to the increasing incidence of abuse: sociological, political, cultural and spiritual. People in the Western world feel an increasing sense of powerlessness, pressured as they are by an increasingly automated, depersonalized and globalized society. One way of responding to powerlessness is by violence, and persons closest at hand frequently are the targets of this frustration. Further, society in general is decaying. Increasingly we hear our culture described as “post-Christian.” One symptom of this is that what is right and wrong from a biblical perspective is taught and understood less and less. Since there no longer exists a moral consensus among us, people increasingly do what is right in their own eyes.

The breakdown of the family also contributes to the increase of abusive behavior in children. Children who grow up in broken and otherwise dysfunctional homes often suffer from poor emotional health and tend to be less psychologically stable. Statistically they are also more likely to be the victims of abuse. Add to this their anger and frustration over being neglected and their efforts to survive under oppressive living conditions, and it is easy to see why disadvantaged children often act out and tend to become abusive toward others. Abusive parents today were very likely victims themselves of parental abuse. This creates a dismal generational view of the problem.

Sadly, there is little difference between the moral performance of the general public and churchgoers. Frequency of all kinds of abuses is more or less the same for the “Christian” and non-Christian population—the abuse of power among church leaders approximates the abuse of power among leaders elsewhere. Power always brings privileges, and all too frequently these privileges are abused.

Using and Abusing Power

The idea of power is complex. Every living human being possesses power. That is to say, every living person has some capacity to act on the environment and effect change—some more, some less. Some people are strong physically, intellectually, spiritually, politically, socially and so on. They have more power. Others are weak. They obviously have less power. Society dictates how certain kinds of power are distributed. Some people are awarded more power, some less. That means that some are dominant and others must defer. In most societies police officers are assigned power. In business bosses are assigned power. In religion pastors and priests are assigned power. In all our social arrangements, power is unequally distributed.

This unequal distribution of power is not the problem so far as the Bible is concerned. “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established” (Romans 13:1). The problem arises when those with power use that power to hurt others. When the power arrangements in church and society produce injustice, then God comes against the power abusers and to the aid of the victims. As God’s people, we must have the same attitude.

The Old Testament prophets spoke frequently on God’s behalf against the political and religious power abusers of their day: “For three sins of Damascus, and even for four, I will not turn back my wrath. Because she threshed Gilead with sledges . . .” (Amos 1:3). When those who were abusing power did not repent of their sin, God stepped in to judge them and work justice for the victims. “The Sovereign Lord says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock. . . . I myself will search for my sheep and look after them” (Ezekiel 34:10-11).

Jesus continued God’s justice work as he spoke out against the ecclesiastical power abusers of his day and offered help to their victims: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of God in men’s faces” (Matthew 23:13). “They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders” (Matthew 23:4). “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

God not only distributes power and allows society to make power arrangements but also demands that those in power act responsibly. Specifically, God calls those in power to use it to serve those subject to them. Isaiah says to the power brokers of his day, “If you do away with the yoke of oppression . . . and if you spend yourself in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed . . . the Lord will guide you always” (Isaiah 58:9-11). That is to say, those in power with the ability to serve the needy are obliged to do so. Jesus put it this way: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them. . . . Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:25-26). Jesus has no problem with someone becoming powerful so long as the power of greatness is exercised in servanthood.

Healing Abuse

Anyone with power over others is a potential abuser. Parents have power over children, husbands over wives, bosses over workers, police over citizens, pastors over church members. Before God, these positions of authority, privilege and power come with obligations. Jesus himself models how to carry out these obligations. Jesus exercised authority and power over his followers by washing their feet and laying down his life for them. He was among them as one who served. Paul says that if we possess power and authority of any kind we are to follow Jesus’ example. “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant” (Phil. 2:5-7).

Abuse should not become the next cause or the witch-hunt of the nineties. We must be careful to discern patterns of abuse from incidents of mistakes. However, Jesus was certainly not silent on this issue, and we should, as always, follow his example. Any type of abuse continues because of ignorance and silence. As we responsibly discuss it, we can identify and stop it. As we learn to spot and correct abusive leaders and systems, we can also identify and support healthy, nonabusive leaders and systems. In addition, we can bring understanding and healing to many who remain shamed and wounded by past abuse.

The cure for abuse is spiritual healing. This begins with knowing the truth. “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). The truth is that God is angry at abuse perpetrated in the divine Name. God stands ready and able to heal the effects of such abuse and to turn bad family and church experiences into wisdom and power in our lives.

References and Resources

K. Blue, Healing Spiritual Abuse (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1993); P. R. Gaddis, Battered but Not Broken: Help for Abused Wives and Their Church Families (Valley Forge, Penn.: Judson Press, 1996); Bruce A. Chadwick and Tim B. Heaton, eds., Statistical Handbook on the American Family Violence (Phoenix: Onyx, 1992); Linda Schmittroth, ed., Statistical Record of Children Crimes (Washington, D.C.: Gale Research, 1994).

—Ken Blue

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