Daydreaming

Dreaming is a normal part of life, even for those who cannot remember their dreams. Much has been written about this. Daydreaming is an equally familiar part of life, but only in the twentieth century and particularly in this generation has it received serious attention. A working definition of daydreaming is that it is a shift of attention or wandering of the mind from ongoing tasks that takes up past memories, present wishes or fears, and future plans or fantasies. Though daydreams can be momentary or last over a minute, their average length is about fifteen seconds, and they occur frequently through the day.

In our society daydreaming is generally frowned upon. Such an attitude goes back to Plato and was reinforced by Freud. Parents regard it as a diversion from more practical and helpful activities. Teachers view it as a distraction from the business of learning and may take disciplinary action. Employers consider it a waste of time and, if it happens too often, as a basis for dismissal. Though daydreaming is often thought to be evidence of dysfunction or as an expression of the unconscious, there is no hard evidence to support either view. Psychologically healthy people daydream as much as, sometimes more than, others, and daydreams seem to be triggered mainly by what is just below the surface of our minds, for example, unmet goals or strong emotions, rather than by the stirrings of our unconscious.

Daydreams usually occur when we have little to do, when little effort is required, when little is at stake, and when we have little interest in what is happening (see Boredom). They often correlate with the ninety-minute rhythms that affect our bodies throughout the day. Various types of content appear in daydreams: for example, personal aspirations deriving from activities during the day; scenarios of reversal, rehearsal or rationalization; planning goals or possibilities. Highly fanciful or sexual daydreams, or strongly anxious ones, account for only about 5 percent of all daydreams.

To some extent the content of daydreams seems to vary according to gender, disposition and personality type. For example, men engage in more achievement or fear-of-failure, and more past-oriented, daydreams than women, worriers report more negative daydreams than those who are less anxious, and narcissistic subjects experienced more heroic and hostile, self-revelatory and future-oriented daydreams than others. As for the frequency of daydreaming, there is evidence that children who have more isolated upbringings and children of parents who put value on this activity daydream more than others.

Some daydreaming is unhelpful, distracting and time-wasting. A recent survey showed that both men and women fantasize—in extreme cases several times daily—about potential sexual partners, impossible job promotions or payback responses to people who have wronged them. Some argue that daydreaming of this kind is better than engaging in the actions imagined and makes it less likely that anything will be done about them. Others argue that people who have a very low esteem may through daydreaming gain confidence to undertake simple, affirming actions such as inviting someone on a date, asking for a raise or challenging some injustice. Still others suggest that fantasizing in the ways suggested is nothing more than a form of play. While there is some truth in each of these approaches, daydreaming can sometimes be harmful. If its objects are primarily lustful, covetous or vindictive, it may harden or increase a person’s attitudes in any of those directions. If it is engaged in too frequently or in an undisciplined way, it might establish unhealthy patterns of disengaging from reality.

Yet this activity also has its more positive side. Apart from sometimes putting us in a more relaxed mood, daydreams might well help us come to terms with some past experience. They may also spring from a part of our personality that is legitimately looking for greater expression. In our kind of society—which still suppresses many people through an overabundance of regulations, all-too-fixed gender roles and clock-dominated schedules—daydreaming is often indicative of a healthy personality refusing to be typecast or manipulated. Even the kinds of daydreaming mentioned above may contain within them longings for a deeper relationship with a person of the opposite sex or one’s spouse, for a more satisfying type of work or for a more mature capacity to empathize or interact with other people. Where daydreaming seems quite unrelated to our present life situation, it may point to some area we should explore more seriously. In such cases it may help us find a creative solution to a present difficulty, glimpse some vision of what God wants us to pursue and even help us move toward making some decisions.

All of this is simply a way of saying that our daydreams—like our thoughts, feelings or actions—may spring from a number of sources. They may be stimulated by illegitimate sinful desires, may be an expression of playful human possibilities or may be echoes of genuine divine possibilities. Often they will be a mixture of all three. What we need, as everywhere else in life, is spiritual discernment, not only our own but that of our friends and others whom we trust in our primary Christian community, to work out what they are saying to us.

» See also: Boredom

» See also: Calling

» See also: Dreaming

» See also: Imagination

» See also: Play

» See also: Vision

References and Resources

E. Klinger, Daydreaming: Using Waking Fantasy and Imagery for Self-Knowledge and Creativity (Los Angeles: Tarcher, 1990).

—Robert Banks