God Knows My Tiredness (Prayer)

God of the moment,
I often wonder,
When I am stressed, or tired, or tense,
If it is all worth it.
For what purpose is life like this?

There are many times
When I have come in from work.
Collapsed in the chair,
And sighed with a tired and thankful sigh,
‘Thank God the day is over!’
Or times when I have come out of a stressful meeting,
Or a tense conversation,
And with all my heart
Felt the relief when I screamed inside myself,
‘Thank the Almighty I got through that!’
and meant it.
With all my thankful heart meant it.

But looking back,
I know of a deeper thanks:
A thanks that is not just relief at being spared for another day,
But a thanks that knows,
Simply,
That you know.
You were in my seat at that meeting,
That visit,
That conversation,
You were there with me,
Supporting, caring, loving.

God of the moment,
Let me look back again
At all the moments where tension or tiredness
Have hi-jacked the comfort of your presence,
And see at that moment,
You stood and waited for a better moment
To tap me on the shoulder and let me know
You have loved me throughout.

And now, with that Almighty Love,
Let me look forward with certainty
To where I can be loved,
And supported,
And cared for yet again
By you,
God of each moment.

(Roddie Hamilton c All Year Round (1996), The Council of Churches for Britain and Ireland)