Community Post: The Invitation
Blog / Produced by The High CallingWriter Jann Cobb relates a story about seeing a man who had victimized her in years past. On that day, God sustained her: "I acknowledged that the man no longer held any power over me. God began a new work inside of me, and I am forever grateful."
Years had gone by since those first memories had flooded my mind. My life now had a rhythm, an order that was humming along. Kevin and I were married with 2 beautiful daughters and were involved in an exciting ministry to high school students. Life was great!
There had been moments of thinking about the past, but I felt that God and I were working on it. Moreover, Kevin and I had spent many hours wading through the feelings of shame and fear that accompanied intimacy within our marriage. All because of one man’s actions early in my life.
There had been moments of thinking about the past, but I felt that God and I were working on it. Moreover, Kevin and I had spent many hours wading through the feelings of shame and fear that accompanied intimacy within our marriage. All because of one man’s actions early in my life.
Still, I felt hopeful that most of it was behind me. I was desperately trying to live our Philippians 3:13-14: ”Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
For the most part, I was okay.
Then one day, something rocked my perfectly-scripted life. An invitation came in the mail. Picking up the envelope, I noticed the name in the corner and I began to shake. It was a wedding invitation for the sister of the man who had, many years ago, stripped me of any sense of security and trust. A thousand questions bombarded my soul:
- Would he be there?
- Could I face him?
- He doesn’t even know that I remember; do I confront him?
- Should I even go?
Falling to my knees, I prayed, “Lord, show me what to do. I am afraid, but I will follow you.”
Instantly, I knew that I needed to attend the wedding. I was to remain quiet if I saw the man who had victimized me, but I was to go--and the Lord would do the rest.
Weeks later, the day arrived for the wedding. I was petrified. As questions pummeled my mind, I fought them off with the knowledge that the Lord had me in his hand, he went before me, and he would shelter me. Kevin and I walked into the wedding, passed the man, and sat down. I thought the whole church would hear my body shaking. Then the Lord gave me an invitation that calmed my anxious thoughts.
Weeks later, the day arrived for the wedding. I was petrified. As questions pummeled my mind, I fought them off with the knowledge that the Lord had me in his hand, he went before me, and he would shelter me. Kevin and I walked into the wedding, passed the man, and sat down. I thought the whole church would hear my body shaking. Then the Lord gave me an invitation that calmed my anxious thoughts.
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
” Thank you Lord," I whispered.
On our way out of the ceremony, the one who had hurt me looked at me. In years past, I might have run and hidden, but on this day, filled with the strength of the Lord, I returned the look. In the depth of my being, I acknowledged that the man no longer held any power over me. I will be forever grateful, because the Lord began a new work inside of me."
My journey of freedom and reconciliation was not over, but the healing had most definitely begun.