Count Your Blessers

You will forget the shame of your youth.

Isaiah 54:4

Heaven knows I’m not the sharpest tool in the box, but anytime I start hearing the same message in a short period of time, I’ve learned to perk up and pay attention. Lately, in the span of a few days I heard these similar messages -

This, I thought as I lay in the darkness, is the opposite of shame.
To acknowledge all the people that love you, despite and sometimes even
because of your mistakes, is to crawl out of the pit and into the light.
You honor them by forgiving yourself. As hard as it can be.

—Courtney E. Martin, columnist for On Being with Krista Tippett

I had been loved too well to ruin my life.

—Cheryl Strayed

If these two ladies were playing the who-has-the-bigger-shame? game, then Martin’s fender-bender in her husband’s car would pale in comparison to Strayed’s almost self-destruction. But like pain, shame is shame, and any gaminess around it just makes things shame-ier.

The rescue both of these fierce voices found came via the faces of others, those who loved them once or love them still. There are, no doubt, stories of those who never experienced love from another. But thankfully, most of our stories have at least one person, some many more than one, who believed in us, invested in us, sacrificed for us, and rooted for us. For most of us, there has been at least one.

Shame is like dandelions in springtime. About the time you think you’ve rid your lawn of them, another pops up with a defiant grin on its face. And about the time you think you’ve finally escaped the prison of shame, another situation will arise to tackle you down. Its not if but when shame comes, so the wisdom is in being prepared, knowing what to do.

So what to do? Acknowledge all the people that love you. That’s right. Take a moment to pause and reflect on the cloud of witnesses around your life chanting those life-saving words: You messed up, we still love you. We forgive you, now you do the same. Life is short, now get going.

Martin still had to shell out the dough to get her husband’s car repaired. And Strayed? Well, read Wild. There will always be consequences to deal with. That’s a part of being a grown-up in this world. But its always easier to face those consequences having spent a little time bringing to mind the faces of those who loved you, and those who love you still.

QUESTIONS FOR FURTHER REFLECTION: The old hymn told us to “count your many blessings.” Take a few moments today and count your many blessers, those people over the years who have stubbornly loved you, no matter what.

PRAYER: Lord, I want to thank you for those who have refused to give up on me. And yes, I do realize at the top of that list is you. So thank you too. Amen.