Spinning into Control

Right priorities balance on some razor thin edge (probably imaginary) and it always feels like I'm leaning one way or another.

I'm typically at the office from 8 to 7:30 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Those are the long days when I rush home for a quick lunch before the afternoon shift.

I pull into the driveway hungry and usually happy. I see needs. Needs everywhere. There's so much that I could be doing with the fifteen or forty minutes I have at home. The kids want to show me the morning’s labor: a written story, drawn picture, a new frog or "bike jump." They scurry around land mines the dogs have left in the grass. (I remove these before disaster strikes a shoe and spreads through the house.)

I notice plants calling for a drink. I walk through our disorganized garage and down the wall-smudged hallway to make lunch amongst stacks of folded laundry and dishes piled high. I see my dear wife, patiently waiting to catch up with me. My cell phone rings.

Part of me enjoys this pace. I've most certainly asked for it, this family. And work? I could be trying to manage my own business. Sheeyah. I have enough paperwork, marketing and keeping up on developments in the field as it is.

So I make choices. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to work in the community where I live. Just 2.4 miles to receive hugs, instruction, and a bit of Spaghetti-Os and bicycle grime on my work clothes.

The garage can be purged and organized, every wall painted, and every twig, leaf, and blade in the yard uprooted and replanted, some day. I can research and hustle and pour myself into reinventing my presence in the workplace, if need be. Not so with spouses and children, with mental and physical health. NOT SO. There are important, time sensitive developments and opportunities happening with Amy, with the kids, and within me, that demand regular attention.

I take my work seriously and honestly. Yet sometimes I can't see the line between being a responsible provider and being caught up in the rat race. I only hope that when there are decisions to be made in the face of uncertainty, when events and consequences push, I'll be spinning in the right direction.

Image by Cindee Snyder Re. Used with permission via Flickr. This article is a reprint of a post by Bob Gorinski.